By Her Side
by Kashimalin
Summary: It had been five years, and his feelings hadn't gone away. All he wanted to be was by her side.


Kyouya drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as he waited for the light to change. He tried to resist the urge to look at the dashboard clock – he knew that he was on time for the occasion. With a sigh, he tried to relax his tense muscles and troubled features.

The black tuxedo he wore was crisp, and hopefully not wrinkled after sitting in the car. He didn't want anything to be wrong with his appearance, not with where he was going—

A car horn beeped, and he hurriedly began to pull through the light. Despite trying to clear his thoughts and focus on driving, he found himself getting nervous again. He took a hand off the wheel and turned the radio on seeking a distraction.

 _"…And today, a nice temperature of about 70 degrees Fahrenheit. Scattered showers across the area, but it's unclear if the weather will turn out for the better or worse..."_

At least the event was indoors, so nothing would be too badly ruined by a little rain. Kyouya pulled into the hotel parking lot and walked inside, asking around for the reception hall. And he knew when he had finally found it.

The doors were open, and he heard sounds of moving chairs and orders from staff, along with the sight of white tablecloths and a dance floor.

The bulletin board outside was also a clear indication. He paused when he saw it, as if it was barring his way into the room. The looping script spelled out, " _The Wedding of Haruka Hayashi and—_ "

Kyouya tore his eyes away. Not her name. It didn't belong there. He couldn't bear to see her name with anybody's but his own.

 _"I love her."_

Kyouya tried to not hear Haruka's voice looming at the back of his brain, but it pushed through anyway.

 _"I don't know when it happened, Kyouya."_

 _Kyouya was sitting next to the doctor on the couch. He had come into the infirmary for idle chatter, for once, not for headache medicine. Haruka had even made tea and been very hospitable – but the comment had come out of the blue._

 _"What do you mean?"_

 _"Her. The… the café girl."_

 _Kyouya nearly dropped the tea cup that Haruka had given him. There was only one female student at their institution. That kind, sweet girl, who was a hard worker when it came to her studies, and always had a smile on her face. She was doing very well in her second year of school, but…_

 _"Well, you can join the club, sometimes all my class talks about is how wonderful she—"_

 _"No, Kyouya." Haruka placed his cup down and turned to the teacher with a grave face. "I love her. I know it's always been there, and I hoped it would go away, that's why I haven't said a word to her. But it's still here. Is this right?"_

 _Kyouya turned away from Haruka, unable to look him in the eye. He couldn't ruin this conversation with admitting how he felt, too. Glancing back to Haruka, he put on the best smile he could muster._

 _"It's fine."_

 _"But this is so wrong; for a teacher to love a student like this—"_

 _"It's_ fine, _Haruka. Drop it. If you're this concerned, go ask her."_

 _Haruka instantly reeled back from the teacher's sudden aggressiveness, but chalked it up to the stress of the school day and nodded meekly. "Soon. Just one more year after this."_

It had been a long time since then. Five years, in fact. Kyouya forced himself to stare at the sign one more time, reading Haruka's name over and over again. He was going to the wedding of his best friend. His _friend._ Cursing himself briefly, he strode into the hall, finding the lead staff member and asking after the room where the groomsmen would be. With a room number, he rode up in the elevator, taking a few deep breaths to mentally prepare himself for what he would have to face when he went inside. Deciding that there was no way he could, he knocked on room 221, and the door opened instantly.

Kyouya was taken aback by how _vibrant_ Haruka looked. He was all smiles, and his white tuxedo was accented with a soft pink rose. Looking beyond, he saw the same rose in every lapel, before going back to look at Haruka, putting on a happy smile.

"You made it!" Haruka pulled him in, closing the door and holding a hand out.

Everyone said their hellos, and the rest of the groomsmen reintroduced themselves as a few good friends from med school, and a close cousin. Kyouya felt a little awkward saying he was a teacher in a room full of accomplished doctors, but was distracted from that thought as Haruka began to slide a rose into his jacket as well.

"Here, that way we don't forget for later. She wouldn't ever forgive me if everything didn't match."

"No, I don't think she would," Kyouya said, trying to smother the urge to pull the rose out before the ceremony.

"She's been very nervous about all this," Haruka continued, pulling back to admire his handiwork. "We've been planning this forever, and I think it killed her to let the rest of us take over a few of the duties. So long as she slept well last night…"

Kyouya tuned out his best friend's tirade; he had heard enough about her, but didn't want to tell the excited groom to shut up on his big day.

The door opened about a minute later, and Kyouya recognized the man who stepped inside – her father. Why was he here?

"Haruka!" He greeted the other man with a huge grin and outstretched arms. Haruka went into the hug easily, happily laughing. Kyouya tried to occupy himself with the wallpaper, but couldn't help overhearing the conversation.

"I'm very happy to have you finally in this family. That announcement you dropped last Christmas was a relief to us all."

 _Chest pain._ Kyouya wondered if any of the doctors had something for it.

"I was holding out a little then, I'll admit. But now we're here."

"She's so happy with you, and her mother said that last night she was so excited, she could hardly sleep."

"Oh! But did she—"

"She eventually did, and was wide awake this morning and already trying to help out, but her mother is insisting that she relax and try to enjoy her big day."

"That's how she is, I'm afraid."

"She'll make a great wife. The two of you will be happy together."

Kyouya wanted nothing more than to excuse himself, or interrupt the conversation. Instead, he looked out the window, where a light drizzle had just begun. He heard the faint ringing of a phone in the background.

 _"Hello?" he said, putting the phone to his ear._

 _"Hello?" It was_ her _voice._

 _"Oh! How are you?" She had hardly been calling lately – was there a chance she had finally come to her senses?_

 _"I'm… I'm so happy right now, Kyouya."_

 _Her voice was light, like a bell, and he quietly prepared himself. Was this it? Had the years of waiting paid off?_

 _Two years after graduation, he had watched her and Haruka grow closer and closer. Deep down, he hoped that she would finally grow up and realize her true love all along. That maybe she was just infatuated with Haruka, and all would be forgiven for her young and foolish choices._

 _"Why? What's happened?"_

 _"We're… we're engaged. Haruka asked last night!"_

 _There was a pause, hovering over the conversation and threatening to break out into a storm. But it dispersed with her words._

 _"Are you still there?"_

 _Kyouya tried to pull himself to reply. "Yes, that's…" Why was his voice so hollow? "That's wonderful news. Congratulations to you both."_

 _"You're the first to know! Talk to you soon – I think Haruka wanted to ask you something."_

 _"Of course," Kyouya said, flatly. "Your family will be happy to know."_

 _Her laughter. Her beautiful laughter. "We're telling them at Christmas. It will be a surprise. Anyway, got to go! Bye, Kyouya!"_

 _The voice that replied to her good-byes was not his own. It felt out of place as he pulled the phone away from his face and hung up. As he did so, he watched a text notification appear on the top of his screen._

 _Haruka._

 _Kyouya wanted nothing to do with the man right now. He had no idea what he had just done. What he had gone and ruined, everything that that man did seemed suddenly irritating and awful. His kind attitude had to be a façade. There was no way he could've gone through with proposing and keep a clear conscience._

 _The text was probably him gloating. It had to be._

 _He forced his fingers to open the message, and his eyes to read what was written._

"If I asked you to be my best man, would you say yes?"

 _Kyouya stared that the message for a long time, then slowly, almost calmly, put his phone down and got his coat on._

 _Where was the nearest bar?_

"Kyouya?"

The voice tugged him back into reality, and out of his intense flashback. Looking to Haruka, the other man had a hand on his arm, and a concerned look on his face.

"Are you feeling well?"

Kyouya nodded, shying away from the touch. "Fine. Just a little antsy. But that's nothing compared to how you must be feeling right now."

Haruka bit his lip as the color vanished from his face. Kyouya raised an eyebrow. "What's the matter, Haruka? Getting cold feet?" It took all he could to keep the eagerness out of his voice.

"I… Could you come with me for a moment?" He glanced at the groomsmen, then back to Kyouya. "Please?"

Now he was worried. This wasn't like Haruka at all. They went out into the hallway, waiting for a person to walk by before they started talking.

"What's on your mind?" Kyouya leaned against the doorframe and slid his hands into his pockets, staring at the distressed groom as he started rocking back and forth on his feet.

"It's not cold feet. That's not the issue here." Haruka curled his hands into fists, looking down at the ground. "It's about her. What she might be going through, or already have suffered."

Kyouya raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"She hasn't told me much, but I worry about what people have been saying to her. About the fact she's marrying her former school's doctor."

 _Ah._ Suddenly his concern made sense. He was worried about how she was taking their relationship, if she had been receiving snide comments that would make her doubt their love…

 _Would she have gone through the same experience if I was with her?_ Kyouya pushed the thought aside, trying to shift his focus back to the worried groom.

"Have you seen anything that might prove your point?"

Haruka was silent, but then shook his head. "No. The reaction from her parents was the only real evidence I saw, back when the relationship was young, but by now they—"

"They've grown on you, yes." Kyouya didn't want to hear it come from his lips. "There's nothing to worry about."

"But there is!" Haruka looked up to Kyouya, then remembered to lower his voice slightly. "I… I don't want to do that to her."

Kyouya resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "What is the matter with you?"

His best friend's bluntness caused him to stare, blinking a couple times out of pure surprise. "I don't know if I'm being oblivious to this. That maybe, I can't see what's wrong with us being together. I understand why others would look at it like that, but I can't hold myself to those same standards. I'm too accepting, too forgiving… unlike you."

Kyouya watched his friend speak slowly, carefully. He had been listening intently, waiting for the sign that would show when he was done speaking.

"Just tell me… honestly, is this right?"

The devil in his ear whispered that this was his chance. In this single moment, the right words and gestures could change everything. That he should seize the chance.

But something refused to listen. He pulled away from the doorframe, crossing his arms. "You haven't had these concerns in such a long time; why are you letting them bother you now? The two of you have true love for one another; so don't let other people's opinions ruin your happiness."

Haruka opened his mouth to protest, but Kyouya took him by the shoulders, words spilling out before he could stop them. "It's _fine,_ Haruka. If I need to repeat that over and over again until you understand that, I will."

The doctor nodded. "All right. I feel better now. Thank you, Kyouya."

Kyouya nodded slowly in return, pulling his hands away from Haruka's shoulders. How had he just defended his friend's choice to go through with this? What was the _matter_ with him–

"Haruka!" They looked up to see someone open the door, holding their wrist up to display the watch face. "Are you ready?"

Haruka smiled, instantly putting on his charming, refreshing self. "Of course!"

Kyouya sucked in a shaky breath. It was time.

* * *

The function hall was full of anticipation as the ceremony went on. Kyouya had gone to weddings before, but none of them ever felt this… strange. He chalked it up to standing up at the front rather than sitting in the audience.

The moment had come. Everyone in the room turned to face her as she came forward and took her father's arm, and walked down the aisle.

She was the picture of perfection, and of beauty. Her hair was piled onto a shimmering bun, out of her face. Her eyes were dazzling and bright, and the smile on her face made his heart swell.

She was so gorgeous. Everything about her, from her face to her gown, was the epitome of elegance. It was almost like falling in love with her all over again as she came closer, letting go of her father's arm and kissing her parents. Then she walked the rest of the distance alone and stopped.

Next to Haruka.

Kyouya tensed up, but instantly reprimanded himself and relaxed. He had gotten carried away. For a few moments, she had been walking down the aisle for him. But he was not here for his wedding. He was here for his best friend, and for her, too.

 _He had been there for her since the moment he met her. Kyouya wanted nothing more than to see her succeed at first, as the first female to ever attend Ikemen. Ever since they started their tutoring sessions, she had shown herself to be a curious, hardworking, and perfect student. Her perfect scores had proven that. He had been so proud of her, giving a wide smile._

 _"You don't have to worry about teaching me anymore, now that exams are over!"_

 _Those words hit him like a brick. He hadn't wanted to think about that, and in an attempt to hide his rapidly vanishing grin, shifted his gaze to the papers on his desk._

 _She paused, for a moment, then gave another small bow. "Ah, you seem busy. I'll go now. Thanks again!" She turned and began to leave._

 _Kyouya looked up at her, and reached out a hand, but stopped, pulling it back as if he had been burned. He couldn't tell her why this hurt so much. He couldn't confess his feelings to her; it was improper for a teacher to love a student like this. The repercussions they could both face, the pressure it would put on her…_

 _He could wait to tell her, he decided, as she turned around before closing the door with a wave. He smiled back, going to back to grading exams while trying to hold in his tears._

Kyouya absentmindedly brought a hand up to wipe it away, but found that he wasn't crying. The phantom sensation had vanished as soon as he heard the officiant begin speaking, and he straightened his posture, trying to ignore the weight that was pressing on his shoulders and threatening to damper his mood. So many of these ridiculous events could have been avoided. Time could have been saved, and perhaps his and Haruka's positions could be switched. There was still a chance. It was fading fast, but maybe, just maybe…

He had to keep smiling, for their sakes. Even if deep down, feelings of jealousy and frustration were threatening to swallow him whole.

* * *

The reception began after all the photos had been taken. The gardens behind the hotel were a little damp, but there was enough light outside to be able to take photos by. Haruka was extremely excited to take photos, saying something about the fact he was happy to be able to record this wonderful day. And she still looked just as stunning – having rid herself of the veil and bouquet, the full beauty of her dress could be appreciated.

When the photographer began to wrap up the family and friend photos, and began to request ones of the bride and groom, Kyouya left with a couple others who were standing around and went into the reception hall again. After talking with a couple others whose commentary on the "happy couple" made him feel sick to his stomach, he decided that it would be all too easy to slip out at this moment, and go home. Haruka would understand if he said he wasn't feeling well.

"Kyouya!"

His head swung around to find the source of the voice, one that he would recognize anywhere.

"Where are you?"

Kyouya began walking towards her before he even knew exactly where she was, and to see her face light up at seeing him, taking his hand – his heart rose. She led him out to the gardens, where Haruka smiled and the photographer was crossing their arms impatiently.

"What's this about?" Kyouya asked as she released his hand and moved to face him.

"We want you in these pictures, too," Haruka said, watching his wife walk back across the garden.

"You left before we could tell you! We had no idea where you had gone, so we decided to find you after all the other pictures had been taken."

 _They had both wanted a picture with me? Just the three… three of us?_ Kyouya looked to Haruka, who shrugged. "Her idea. But I'll admit it was a good one."

Kyouya wasn't sure what he was feeling in that moment. On one hand, it felt like pure elation, the very thought that she wanted photographs with _him_ , that they would take the time to seek him out… but in the other, he didn't want these at all. He didn't want them to exist and for them to hold onto these photographs forever.

"Hurry up!"

"Coming, dear!" Haruka moved to stand next to her, and Kyouya briskly stepped to stand on her other side. She did her best to reach around both their waists and pull them closer while the photographer began to fiddle with the camera, looking through the lens multiple times.

"Damn contrast," they muttered angrily. "The clouds have begun rolling back in."

While the photographer changed the settings and lens, Haruka bent down a bit towards his wife. "How do you feel?"

She smiled, looking to Haruka then Kyouya in turn. "I couldn't be happier now that you're both next to me." She hugged them a little tighter and gave a brilliant smile as the photographer was finally ready, asking for them to hold still, and getting a few more photos of the three of them together.

They were planning out a few more in an intense discussion when one of the groomsmen stepped out and waved to the trio. "Come on! You guys need to have the first dance!"

"Oh!" Laughter bubbled up from the happy couple, while Kyouya rolled his eyes. "You two entirely forgot, didn't you."

"Sorry, sorry!" Their amusement died down, and they went back to the hall and began to take the congratulations of a few people while Kyouya found a spot at the front of the crowd around the dance floor. More and more people gathered as the music died out, and Haruka came onto the floor, smiling at everyone.

"Thank you all so much for coming. We're both glad that all of you could make it." Kyouya watched his confidence falter briefly – of course. He was still worried about her and her reputation. Their eyes met, and Kyouya spun his hand slightly, urging for him to continue.

Haruka took that faith and held out his hands, and she stepped out from the crowd, lacing her fingers through his and looking as if she was about to cry.

The music started up, and Kyouya watched as they went into a clearly improvised dance – causing laughter from everyone in the room as they watched the couple smile and mutter to each other, most likely about how they were dancing or how… _happy_ they were.

How they would remember this moment for the rest of their lives. Their lives that they would now spend together.

Kyouya felt the sound around him decreasing in volume as he watched them, trying to puzzle out what was happening. His throat felt stuck, and his hands were shaking.

 _Doubt._ For the first time, Kyouya began to question the idea he had had for so long, the one that kept him going as he watched Haruka and her grow ever closer. He clutched to the hope that she would realize her mistakes. That she had made a mistake in her youth and would work to fix it with time.

That they belonged together, and nobody else.

His eyes began to prickle as tears threatened to fall, and Kyouya moved a hand over his mouth, supporting his elbow with his other hand.

He had been lying to himself this entire time. When had he begun to believe the irrational idea that they were destined for each other? When had he turned the other way so that he didn't have to face the reality of the situation?

He could destroy years of friendship if he let these feelings fester within him. All this jealousy, hope, and naiveté could lead to a horrible, painful end.

The tears came and he did nothing to stop them. The couple dancing was blurry, just white splotches of color against a dark background.

"Look at the best man," he heard one of the bridesmaids murmur. "He's crying."

"Oh my God," another exclaimed in a hushed tone. "He must be so happy for his best friend. He's such a softie, and you wouldn't even be able to guess by looking at him."

Kyouya did nothing to correct them; instead just letting his emotions flow freely, eventually leaving the crowd as the last chords of the song faded, finding the bathroom to attempt to clean his tear-streaked face.

Kyouya looked into a mirror as he tidied up, straightening his collar and running fingers through his hair before taking a wet paper towel to his face. He stared at his reflection somberly, seeing nothing but a man who looked utterly pitiful.

Haruka could always muster a smile when he needed it, to tap into his naturally revitalizing nature and put the needs of others before himself. Kyouya could hardly bring himself to pull the corners of his mouth up without feeling like he could cry again.

Haruka was the one out there making her happy. She hadn't stopped smiling the entire day, from the moment she walked down the aisle to the dance, where her laughter could be heard across the floor.

She was genuinely happy. Happy because they were together and were going through despite all the hardships they had faced in the early days of their public relationship.

Haruka was his best friend. Haruka trusted him, and in return, he trusted him. Could he go that extra step, to give up his dreams and hopes of ever getting with her?

All Kyouya had ever wanted was for her to be happy. He believed that he was the only one who could bring her all that joy, but it seemed that this was not the case. Haruka wasn't him. But maybe, Haruka would be the _one_ person exempt from that rule that governed his heart. That he could make the exception for him, since he was the one who made her smile, who gave her confidence, and won her heart.

Kyouya looked up to the mirror, deciding his face was relaxed and clean enough to finally go out again. With a deep breath, he walked out, finding the guests beginning to stand around with idle chatter until dinner was to be served.

From across the room, he watched the bride notice him, and with a couple quick words to Haruka, left his side and came over.

This time, there was no quick rise of hope, nor any sudden wish that she was finally coming to her senses. There was only a smile, and when she stopped before him, they stood in silence for a few moments, wondering who would talk first.

"…Thank you," she finally said.

"For what?" His smile grew. "For attending? Haruka asked me to be his best man; I couldn't just not show up."

"No, not that." He swore he saw a tear glisten in her eye, but it was quickly wiped away. "Thank you for bringing us together."

Kyouya had been about to ask what role he had played, when suddenly, he remembered what she was referring to.

 _Graduation was close. All of Class 3-C had been let out early to study for exams, and Kyouya was alone in an empty classroom. He had been working on the math final, but instead was settling in for a break when the door opened quietly. He turned and saw the café girl standing in the doorway, but she had not come for a last-minute tutoring session – she had no books or papers in her hands._

 _"Kyouya-sensei," she said with a quick bow. "Do you have a minute?"_

 _"Of course," he said, quickly sitting up straight and gesturing for her to take a desk chair. "What's the matter?"_

 _She paused a moment, looking deep in thought. When she didn't speak for several moments, Kyouya opened his mouth to ask again, but then she began to talk, looking up with worried eyes as she did so._

 _"What can you tell me about Haruka-sensei?"_

 _The question puzzled him, his face scrunching up at it's existence. "Well, I can tell you he's a hardworking doctor, that he started working here, oh, five years ago—"_

 _"No, no, like…" She began to play with the hem of her dress, biting her lip nervously. "What is he like when he's not a doctor?"_

 _"…Do you mean like his personal life?"_

 _She nodded sharply. Kyouya laid back in his chair, fearing where the direction of this conversation was going. Haruka had just recently confessed his feelings about her, and the fact she had come in and gone down this line of inquiry… what had happened in their relationship?_

 _"Well, that's a more awkward question to answer," he said, choosing his words carefully. He knew that Haruka would never give him headache medicine again if he told her flat out that he had feelings for her and even kissed her on the forehead in her sleep – that was wholly improper and risked his getting fired. "Is there a reason you can't just ask him yourself?"_

 _"You know him best," came back as an almost instant reply. Kyouya silently cursed himself for becoming good friends with the doctor._

 _"Well, I'm not sure what to tell. He's a passionate man who cares for his work. However, he also teases people mercilessly if you aren't careful, or if something interesting is happening, he'll stick and watch what happens, because that's his sense of humor, I suppose. And oh, he's an absolute worrywart. I'm sure he individually cares about every single student in this school and knows what to expect from them. He gets so wound up about their wellbeing, especially like that time with you where he—"_

 _Kyouya caught himself, but not soon enough. Her eyes lit up, interested in what he was saying now._

 _"What? No, come on, tell me!"_

 _"No!" Kyouya began to push back in his chair, and she stood up, moving to the desk._

 _"Has he said anything?"_

 _"I will not say another word," he responded flatly. He wanted to keep the headaches at bay, and if that meant keeping silent, he would do all he could._

 _But her posture was relaxed, and deep in thought. "If there's even a small chance… if it's still there, then maybe it is worth pursuing."_

 _"Might I ask again why you're so curious about our resident doctor's private life?"_

 _She shook her head. "No, I want to be sure first. But thank you so much."_

Her hands wrapped around his; and Kyouya was pulled down into a hug, her arms gripping slightly as she whispered one last time, and he felt her crying, moving to hug her back and sigh, muttering something about her being so emotional.

"I'm glad you're happy."

She sniffed, and pulled a little away so she could look him in the eye. "I'm glad you're here."

"Me, too." He looked up from her to see Haruka moving towards them, and quickly separated, turning her around and pushing her gently towards her husband.

"The two of you still have a lot to do. Go have fun."

She stared at him for a moment longer as Haruka told him to come up to the main table, and her face broke into a smile as bright and vibrant as the sun.

They walked to the head table together, the happy couple hand-in-hand, and their best friend, right behind them, who wished for nothing more than their lives to be filled with happiness and love.


End file.
